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About HDL

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  1. I've been working on adding the names of all of the students adventures to the wiki. Most of the adventures seem to unlock when you have a relationship rating of around 5, Magsa Nembo's doesn't though. Even with a relationship of 10 I still don't have access to an adventure. I was wondering if he has different requirements to the majority of the students or is there something wrong? And a minor thing, (different topic) in Malacresta Vercesi's description it says he's rarely seen without a looking glass, even in the daytime. A looking glass is a mirror, is that what's actually meant? A spyglass, on the other hand, is another term for a telescope, and since he's obsessed with the stars I'd have imagined that's the word that should actually be used.
  2. Secrets in the Stars - A Broken Telescope. "Your eager to look" should read "You are".
  3. A * Alan Driscoll - b0b242b6-3c18-4b90-8f66-39e12b907826 * Amada Kiffer - c20e8b28-638f-41f6-bf39-7b3eb2776f4d * Ana Flavia Bessa - a36d2c7b-5e46-4ae8-98d7-d6835399d8a0 * Asmita Tidar - cea406c4-fc3f-464d-9acd-016a17252122 * Ausdauer Mollers - bcdf9278-a331-4d45-937a-78698fb3110c * Aveline Cincebeaux - 115bd84c-1b3c-4f92-8098-d4f727acdd05 * Avgust Kostrodyrets - 62aadd00-f1ab-4317-b792-82c9b473b76c * Aymeri Couer - fc1054f4-5b95-41bf-ae6d-2fd87bf669d5 B * Basia Rydz - afa69e75-322b-419b-805f-f02282b807d5 * Beatrix von Wetgen - 8e8ce5ab-5bbf-495f-88bd-fe4887be5b23 C * Cante Caviti - 518a4035-fed4-4606-b16a-51f727b192ac * Carmine Sturzo - ee0bc8d8-3871-409e-8ff8-7fae4981e9b5 * Caspar Pfeuffer - 18b78358-dc25-4629-92bf-a53b424cdb4f * Catherine Chard - ce49cd57-2c6a-48ee-acf6-f6e57bebd5a9 * Cinzia Ammacapani - 7753e1a9-f5db-4757-bc89-1cefb8d45734 * Cirillo Laziosi - 467d96dc-66bc-48ae-a035-63adc5062d43 * Cordelia Troublepot - fc756290-7330-49c8-a6f1-f8f56faa6802 * Corradin d'Alfi - eeb23127-8c3c-401c-a74a-86547aa4cbdc * Cosetta Re - caa0e169-769d-4dea-9f4c-e5b51e1a2ca0 * Courtenay de Surval - 1fcc8765-48ce-4257-b70b-e11eae6118c9 * Cyrus Dawes - dcc35df2-299f-4717-ad92-b8ed82d4df4b D * Durand de Thiomines - c729f501-403b-4e0b-9c23-e8a464ca179d E * Eduard Solov'ev - fdd023b8-765c-44b2-a4e6-e9dfaf489baa * Eliana Carosi - b5bb0333-8378-442d-b9b6-1e313894be0c * Els Rottmundyn - ac503e98-42f6-4dab-856d-df1a87e995f8 * Emilia Picotti - c185d639-1b03-4398-9448-f9fb9c2dc724 * Emilia Strolin - 433fde1f-31db-4a25-83c2-fac02930285a * Everwine von Zoedorf - 87e98f85-8bb3-4bd9-bc02-4004713d476a F * Flore Yveuillet - a56058b5-3253-4c23-a9c0-23869cffacf6 G * Girars de Periarde - 1c1e3d56-4d46-4933-a807-3ce66e5741fa * Grainne Inneith - 43aad914-682c-4849-943e-31b8c678de9e * Gwendy Zuyder H * Hector Per Vittoria - d005472e-8870-4a0c-aa05-2320e7ddb4b4 * Herbert Downes - b820e0b0-e140-45ef-bbd9-16423f1a42fc * Honors Plafox - d224f7bc-eb30-4fb8-81f6-e29ac9ef2f02 I * Irene Oxina - 6689d2ff-46e6-4701-9bf4-dcf4801bd95a * Isabeau Glorieux - 39fbb811-fccc-4c09-a49e-1d41dc491435 * Iustus Venture - c099bac6-bd68-4aea-be56-24ccda20b6de J * Jere Niemela - 80d3fe16-ffcc-4eae-a39d-48d4fe6a1a52 * Joana Lio y Rossollo - 1187d493-5bd2-4533-b07d-9ee7c2723e73 K * Katja Quinnecht - 9a42c647-94eb-439f-8588-920c11511be5 * Kurt Henning - a2105a80-b8cf-4fa1-ba7f-06b62e4f6e0f L * Lambert Cobo - a8281086-1435-4c4c-ba40-d985deae53b8 * Leopold Rassent - f25035b9-f8e5-4367-a29a-ba5c7a734f36 * Llarina de Avuel - f1360e6e-d279-4971-9446-159559e57777 * Luti Jaconelli - d4758a6f-954e-4ac5-969b-d2b99cb9811c
  4. I thought the portraits were excellent and seemed very age-appropriate. Ha! I just noticed all the colleges have a different uniform. I never realised that before. The only main issue I had was that Picollet Gleyre is described as large and big-boned and a giant in his description, but the portrait doesn't seem to convey that. And Everwine is described as a small, round boy, but he too doesn't seem all that round. I did find that some students have more character in their portraits than others. There were a number of boys, in particular, who looked very generic, whereas with most of the girls their personalities seemed to come through better. It might be with girls having a whole range of hairstyles, while almost all the boys are suitably short-haired there's limitations there.
  5. Great Idea! I spent five minutes trying to work out how to rate a game, only to find out that I'd already done it when I first bought it.
  6. HDL

    CCCP # 1

    EXIT TEXT: Court Hairstyles: Bald is Beautiful! Wear it with style. Charm/Court Hairstyles vs ? SUCCESS: Darling, don't you realise, bald is in! All the fabulous ladies and gentlemen of the court are doing it after Lady Orvilla, fashionista extraordinaire, had that unfortunate encounter with a drunken barber and a pair of shears. There's nothing quite so beautiful as the light of the sun reflected off of a depilated scalp! Luscious tresses are so last week! You hold your head high with confidence, secure in the knowledge that you're following the latest court trends, and soon the sniggers of the other students turn to envious glances. By the time the spell wears off and your hair returns in its full glory you've managed to persuade several of the other students to shave their heads as well. It's almost a pity you've rejoined the haired masses. SUCCESS EFFECT: +2 Confidence. FAILURE: Try as you might you can't seem to persuade any of the other students the Sixt von Rupprecht look is one worth emulating. They snigger and point at you as you walk down the hall, @Random Male Student@ complains in class that the light bouncing off of your nude noggin is distracting him from his work, and worst of all you've picked up a nickname that will likely plague you for months. After the hundredth cry of "Baldie Egghead!" you resort to wearing that really ugly hat you got for your birthday until your hair regrows. Anything is better than bald. FAILURE EFFECT Embarrassed -1 Court Hairstyles -1 Social Skills
  7. Most of the below was written yesterday, before my other post. But I decided not to send it, only well you've asked for it now. If you can't break up the event could you tighten up the introductory text? At the moment there's a lot of it and it is rather repetitive, which is a valid storytelling tool but one I don't think quite works in this medium. Your ideas are solid, the execution isn't quite working. Writing for games, be that interactive fiction, rpgs, or adventures for Academagia is a different medium than any other sort of writing. I didn't feel drawn into your adventure, or into the suspense of it all because I didn't get to act. I was just a passive observer, told what I had to do and the exciting stuff happened before I could actually do anything. So I wasn't hooked. You have 11 sections of text there. Now there are adventures with that amount of passages but the walls of text are left until you've at least started. Less is more. I read the first page of text. I read the last page of text. I skim the middle bits, picking out pertinent bits of information but it's rare that I'll read it all unless I'm actually involved, or if it's hooked me in otherwise. Anyway here's my thought processes as I read through the adventure. 1) I am lost. There's a ghost that's speaking which is annoying me. But where am I lost? 2) I can't remember when he started to follow me? Has he been following me for weeks? Or just since I got lost? Still Lost. Still got a ghost. Tried a lot of spells. Deafened myself? - Why can't I actually do this? If you give the player the option to actually do it it gives more of an impact than letting them just passively read. What if I don't know how to do any of those things? It's taking away the player's freedom and choices and making them feel powerless. 3) The deaf spell doesn't work. Still lost. I'm now suppressing my panic regardless of whether I have courage 0 or courage 10. 4) Ah the ghost's still there. I'm still casting spells even though they don't work? Why am I doing it if we already established they don't work? I'm faced with a choice of paths but I don't get to choose? I'm forced into a dead end? I feel stupid and annoyed? The word 'crap' there was quite jarring for me too. I'm still lost. 5) Why do I want to hit my head on the wall? It's definitely going to make my headache worse? I'm focusing on my surroundings despite my skills? I'm still lost. 6) AHA! Found something. Mentioning smell is good. Smell is a very evocative sense and too often people just rely on describing sights and sounds. Graveyards don't smell of blood though. Or was that Graveyard and the scent of blood. This is a good paragraph though. 7) Why haven't I asked the ghost anything before? Say my character's the most talkative character in the world and who never shuts up? Say my character has Miranda or Shadow as their familiar, then in either case they might have a tendency to speak with spirit-sorts. I think the mention of scary stories actually breaks the tension. As 13 (is it?) I'm still a youth, still a child. Your passage before really evokes how creepy the place is. You don't need to repeat or reiterate it. Sometimes less is more. 8) Finally after goodness knows how long I've decided to speak to it only it's shut up? That's frustrating. And you're repeating again that it's a creepy place. 9) And then again you force an action, with the strongest most destructive spell, and again it doesn't work. What if my character is a pacficist who doesn't know or want to use those sorts of spells? 10) And again my efforts come to nothing, but it's frustrating more that I don't get to make those efforts, that I'm watching passively. And then the wall starts crying. Only why haven't I connected the sound of the wall to that of the ghost that was there earlier? 11) And finally I get to make choices, I get to take action. But I feel like I've been railroaded into this point. And then there's a whole pile of text afterwards wrapping things up which I didn't read because by then my brain had melted by the sheer amount of text above. Now, I think you have three important details. 1) You are lost. 2) There is a voice which is driving you crazy. 3) You find a weeping wall. So in the name of absolutely butchering your event I'd say rip apart what you've written so far and pull out all of the non-essential text. You've got an absolutely fascinating idea here which is drowning beneath a page of text. This is the hook to your adventure, the bit that gets people interested. Have you ever tried those writing exercises where you've to tell a story in 100 words? You're also suffering from a conflict in atmospheres. The whole being lost, being unable to find your way, coming across a room that smells of graveyard and blood, and a wall that weeps should be creepy. The voice though, which whispers, is annoying and comedic. There's a clash between both things. Which feel are you trying to go for? Are you trying to go for a creepy horror story which sends shivers down your spine or for a funny tale? "Aside from the strange smell that reminds you of the graveyard back at home and the smell off blood in the air, you quickly realize something is wrong with this place. In fact the longer you stand there the stronger you can smell the blood. The smell is so thick you can practically taste the iron on your tongue every time you inhale. What makes it even stranger though is that it almost seems as if you are the first to come here for centuries. Thick layers of dust are everywhere and aside from your own footprints the dust hasn't been disturbed in its settling process for a long, LONG time!" See that passage above. That's showing me it's creepy rather than telling me. I like that passage. What I'd love to see is a passage before it explaining how you're lost, and a ghostly voice telling you how you'll never find your way again. The moment you add percentages to it you make the ghost more amusing and annoying than scary. But you've a gift for writing creepy, if you just show and don't tell. Now fear really grasps at your soul and you feel it creeping up your spine as you realize you are all alone in this place. When suddenly the smell of death and blood becomes twice as strong and still increases rapidly the urge to bolt and get the hell out of there establishes itself deeply in your mind. I like that one too. After that add the sounds of the wall sobbing. You kill the effect with mentioning underwear, going again from horror to funny, when really, on its own, just mentioning that the eerie silence in the room is suddenly broken by the sound of weeping and moaning and suddenly you're trapped. "Something loudly starts to weep and moan behind you. As you turn back however to run like you have never done before you stop dead in your tracks. Your eyes widen in disbelief, trembling heavily in their sockets, as your pupils dilate. Your breathing and even your pounding heart stop for a second as you realize the way back is gone." That last line is scary. That last line gives shivers. It's really good. That's where you should finish. That's where you should let the player decide how to escape. You don't need as much words as you have, (oh no I am repeating myself,) because you are a good writer and you can do more with less words. You don't need to tell things because you're really good at showing it.
  8. My current playlist has LostProphets, 30 Seconds to Mars, Linkin Park, Muse, Green Day, Pink Floyd, The Prodigy and Divine Comedy on it. My CD collection is filled with 80s pop though. I don't listen to music while playing the game since it breaks my concentration.
  9. HDL

    Muffin Man

    Hahhaa! Mecharm, you have a really good way with words and such a quirky sense of humour. All the events you've written make me smile and I'm looking forward to seeing more. That Muffin Man though, I'd destroy it! SQUISH! It's so annoying. Nomnomnom.
  10. I did actually figure out that the 'Ghost' was the 'Wall'. I wrote a long analysis of your event, which I won't share, because I can see you don't want to change anything. I do think that the event would be vastly improved if you either lengthened it and added more choices at each stage to break it up and I know you've already dismissed that as an option. Alternatively you could tighten it up a bit and condense it. Repetition is a tool that can work well in fiction, but I don't feel it helps in this medium when every word should count.
  11. HDL

    Idea Pool

    Why wouldn't you want to? One of the great things about the game is the sheer amount of customisability of your character. Portraits are one of that things which you're fixed to a choice of 2 per college/gender (which is understandable since the art is costly). When you're forced to stare at the same portrait throughout the game then it should definitely be one that you like the look of. I've been veering away from certain colleges simply because I don't like the avatars offered there. With the ability to either add my own portrait, or just us one of the other college avatars (and ignore the background) or use one of the other students I have greater freedom. Besides the artwork of all the students is great. There's some which are filled with such personality that I'd love to stare at them throughout my entire game and since I only get to look at them briefly, while skimming through another student's profile, I can't see the problem of being able to greater appreciate the art and having it there constantly. Of course it's not an option for everyone but I like the opportunities it presents. You go from having a choice of 2 portraits, to a choice of nearly 100, if using game art, and totally unlimited if you decide to use art from other sources.
  12. HDL

    Idea Pool

    I spun the familiars off onto their own topic. I think one Platypus type would be best, due to the sheer amount of work that would go into creating separate adventures for all of them. Although I suppose it would be feasible to do minor tweaks based on species. Or to have your platypus visit the land of platypus dreams and thus encounter the various other kinds. I do like the idea of more backgrounds. I think that Older Sibling at Academagia could also be spun off into its own interesting adventure. So you'd be able to take it as a background and it would unlock an adventure, where your sibling could either be of a help or a nuisance. Maybe said sibling looks like you and you get mistaken for them and get into trouble. Or they're always bossing you around. Or you find out that people keep saying "why can't you be more like your sibling" and are stuck in their shadow." Sibling adventures would be interesting and add some more depth to the character. I believe Legate said that there'd be more to do with parents in the later games.
  13. HDL


    So Australian Familiars! Playtpuses here we come! More Avian Familiars. I'm actually stunned that there's no ravens or crows, they would seem to be one of the archetypal familiars. I was looking for a songbird type familiar. There is, if I recall, a familiar that eats sound, and another which is trying to get everyone to dance. There's an event which has your familiar listening to an orchestra. I really liked the idea of my musical student having a familiar that would sing along with them. Now, I could create an exotic bird, based on the Lyrebird, which mimics sounds. But since, if I do do a familiar, I'll likely just do only one avian and even then only if I can beat an idea into expanding into an adventure. The Parrot would know where the pirate's treasure is, clearly. YARRRR! And most familiars don't talk, but a Parrot familiar might have the issue of not being able to shut up.
  14. HDL


    I'm spinning this off into a new discussion so that the other thread isn't spammed too much. All familiars have: 1) A Default Name, a Familiar Type, and a Species. eg. Default Name: Miranda Type: Carnivorous Plant. Breed: Miniature Ravenous Abomination Shrub Default Name: Captain Rufus Felix Northbridge Type: Cat Breed: Langsey Tabby 2) Artwork. All the familiar artwork has the same black background to it. 3) 5 points that are distributed throughout attributes. 4) An adventure told from their point of view. (Titled Familiar: Adventure Name) 5) An adventure told from your student's point of view, where your student and familiar work together. 6) A special ability? I'm not sure on this one. My monkey familiar had a special ability. The other students seem to often use their familiar's special abilities. I've not delved deeply enough into the game to find out if all familiars have one though. The adventures seem to be the most work there. All the ones I've experienced for familiars are different and really indepth, tailored to the various familiars. They're one of the best points about having a familiar.
  15. HDL

    Idea Pool

    The trouble with adding new familiars is that in order to keep them inline with the other familiars they'll need to have 2 new adventures written for them, one from the point of view of the familiar and one where they quest with your student. They'll need some artwork, and I believe that all familiars have a special ability. (I know the other students ones do and my monkey had one. I've not really played long enough to find out more.) I'd rather see a Drop Bear than a koala, or have their quest surround Drop Bears. Platypuses (platypi?) are utterly fascinating, they lay eggs, they're venomous, they have dreams and electrolocation. I'm quite fond of them and undoubtedly there's a lot of material there for two quests. Where's the love for my favourite Australian critter, the LyreBird? It would seem like a fair bit of work to add them in and make all of their adventures substantially different. Actually I do think the idea of additional familiars is a good one even if I have barely touched upon the existing ones.
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