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Leoshi

Letter(s) from your sister

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Prerequisite: Family: Big Sister background (here) This event should happen on the 2nd of Gelamenus to avoid clashing with the Cheimare warning event.

 

Returning to your room, exam worries forming in his head, you can't help but think about your sister. The one that has always been there for you, not the one who forces you to act as a servant during one of her tea-parties.

 

*Tap**Tap*

 

Hmm?

 

A messenger dove is at the window.

 

Once you received the letter in its mouth, and pay it with some bread in your room, you notice that the letter is from home. It's from your sister. The nice one.

 

 

Dear *Player's first name*,

 

How have you been? The family is fine and busy as usual but more importantly how have you been? Your last letter was ages ago and some of us are worried about you in that creepy school.

 

You remember the rumours surrounding that school? Students eaten by living plants, statues coming to life, kids running off to some Gamer's guild and professors forcing children to listen tolong boring lectures that are secretly Mastery spells.

 

Before I continue to sound like Mom, I just want to make sure you are going to doing well in your studies, and because Cheimare exams are coming up soon I sent you a reminder sheet along with this letter. But you should still have fun and maybe go on an adventure with your friends like that kid *Highest relationship with player*. But remember that you shouldn't skip classes all the time just to go adventuring all right? Trust me, it really isn't worth the detention. Well actually it is but don't tell Mom I wrote this.

 

Now in Mom's words. Have you been eating healthy? You didn't stuff yourself with rich food at the school did you? Have you been exercising properly everyday? Is that sport called rimbal really that fun? Do you get hurt a lot? What about clothes, have you wash your clothes properly? Do you need some fresh underwear? Are you homesick? Do you need the family to come see you?

 

Before you write back, yes I miss you but you have to learn how to be a responsible person and learn to live among your peers. You have to know how to take care of yourself and therefore the school is the best place for you.

 

But enough about Dad, we are proud of you for making it into the academy so don't you dare flunk out. Or else…<*Gulp*>

 

Sincerely, your sis…

 

 

"What are you reading?"

 

You barely hide your surprise/fear as you turn around and find, Reitz von Lutersee!

 

"It's just a letter from my sister" you replied tactlessly.

 

"Uh-huh" replied the boy as he examines your face for signs of embarrassing secrets. Too easy for him.

 

"So what is she good at? Did you learn anything from her? Can I see the letter?"

 

 

Exit 1: She has magic

 

Text:

Thinking back to the time your sister turn a twig into a magnificent quill, you examine the letter again.

 

Apparently she did enchant the letter. The words on the letter glow with a soft yellow and slowly twist into phemes that turns the letter into...a fluffy pillow. Neat!

 

You show off the incredibly soft pillow in front of an awe-struck Reitz and promptly shove him out of the room to enjoy a wonderful nap.

 

Result: +1 to Magical Appraisal, +1 Reminder Sheet

 

Exit 2: She is good at athletic activities

 

Text:

Remembering the time you actually challenged your sister to a foot race in which you thought you could win (you fool), your sister was already taking a nap by the time you finish the race, sweat drench and out of breath.

 

"Well did she teach you anything or not?"

"Not much" you replied and run off at an incredible speed that it takes Reitz a moment to realize that you are gone.

 

Result: +1 to Running, +1 Reminder Sheet

 

Exit 3: She plays good music

 

Text:

Hmm, several weeks of studying have really dulled your memories. Seeing you lost in thought Reitz quickly snatches the letter out of your hands. And suddenly a wonderful melody plays out of the letter.

Music. Of course! Your sister always loved to play music with her lute. And it looks as thought your sister wants to make sure you never forget.

 

Result: +1 Notation, +1 Reminder Sheet

 

Exit 4: She is linguistic

 

Text:

A closer look at the letter reveals tiny subscript of both Old Elumian and Bassan underneath each words. How could you forget about her little odd habit of making her letters impressive and captivating? When you were writing your application to the Academagia, you had to repeatedly explain to her that her little subscript is going to give the professors a ridiculously high expectation of your language talents. But still, it is not like letting her indulge herself here is going to cause any harm right?

You smugly tell Reitz that he won't understand most of the content anyway and shoo him away. Even thought you could also use some help with you language skills too.

Result: +1 Elumian and Bassan, +1 Reminder Sheet

 

Exit 5: Gates and Mastery, but don't tell him that!

 

Text:

Isn't it obvious? The mysteriously dull looking eyes of the messenger bird, the strange feeling you had when you touched the letter and also the phemes hidden in the writings. The moment Reitz snatches the letter from your hands, you cast a simple Mastery spell and suggest to Reitz that maybe he should just get lost. Preferably in the girls bathroom.

Result: +1 Reminder Sheet, Inform of one location that improves either a random gates skill or mastery skill

 

 

Part 2 of the letters

 

Kaliri exams

 

Date for event to happen: 2nd of Anedius

 

You return to your room exhausted from yet another day of studies. Every spell, casting method and tips from the professors float around your head. Literally.

 

Apparently Milena di Montors's little glamour spell is harder than it looks. Luckily your concentration was strong enough to make sure that secrets were not floating along side your personal thoughts of a particularly cute professor.

 

Deciding to take a quick nap you jump onto your bed and within seconds drift off into a deep sleep.

 

That was when your familiar wakes you up with a letter in its possession.

 

You grudgingly wake up and notice that the letter is from your big sister.

 

 

 

Dear *Player's first name*,

 

How are you doing in Academagia? Youmust be feeling relaxed but a little homesick right? Don't worry it's only a month left before you come home with a mountain of chores waiting for you. (You imagine your sister laughing at this point)

 

Anyway, everyone is really excited about you coming home and they are really eager to see what you have learnt in that school. So be sure to prepare something spectacular before coming home alright?

 

You must have had an exciting time at the school; your last letter about your adventure was so exciting that you are making your brother really jealous and going on about how unfair it is that you have magic and he doesn't. Still, everyone is happy and rumours are spreading around town that you might become a master in only a few years.

 

And in case you get too big headed, remember the last time you wet yourself? If I remember correctly it was when you were nine and you saw a purple cat cross your path.

 

Oh and also your silly fear of

 

 

*Snatch*

 

Oh no! Lord Francis, Reitz von Lutersee's familiar just stole your letter!

 

 

Note: Automatically succeed for all exits.

 

Exit 1: Take a shortcut

 

Text:

 

"There is no way that Reitz is going to read the contents of that letter" you thought as you ran through the many rooms of the college. A left here a right there and one quick slide down the stairs and you reach the front doors of your college before Lord Francis.

 

Seeing you standing there, breathing hard and grinning like a loon, Lord Francis wisely drops the letter and decides to playfully jump on your head just once before leaving your dorm.

 

What a sweet little guy. Too bad about his master.

 

Result: +1 Navigation

 

Exit 2: Chase him down

 

Text:

 

Running faster that you thought you could, you quickly catch up to Lord Francis. The surprise of someone being able to catch up to him, gives you the perfect opportunity to snatch the letter back from his mouth.

 

It could be because of the sudden rush of adrenaline but you could have sworn that Lord Francis just smiled at you as he left.

 

Result: +1 Confidence

 

Exit 3: Trick Reitz

 

Text:

 

Reitz's values information. So why not trick him into thinking that you just let Lord Francis take away a letter with fake information?

 

Taking a page from your homework, you weave a simple illusion spell and made it to look like a letter. And with that you stroll out of your dorm and quickly spot Reitz under a shady tree.

 

Tapping his shoulder from behind, you asked what he is reading. With a smug look on his face, Reitz confidently holds out your letter. And with that you hold out your fake letter and declare your letter to be the real deal with an even prouder look on your face.

 

With a surprised look, Reitz quickly tries to take the fake letter but falls flat on his face. You quickly snatch back the letter and run back to your room, locking the door and closing the windows when you are there.

 

Result: +1 Confidence

 

Exit 4: (Gates) Summon something to stop the familiar

 

Text:

 

It may hurt the familiar but you have to make sure that no one reads that letter. Taking a deep breath, you cast a spell in front of Lord Francis without thinking of the what may cross the dimensions and wreak havoc on this insignificant mortal realm.

 

Luckily for you and Lord Francis, you have summoned some really colourful fur balls. These living fur balls are glowing strangely and seem so playful. Lord Francis is instantly transfixed by their strange quality.

 

While Lord Francis plays around with these creatures you take back the letter and return to your room and let out a sigh.

 

Result: +1 Gates Methods

 

 

Exit 5: Send your familiar after Lord Francis

 

Text:

 

Working together with *Familiar name*, you cast a wind spell to send your familiar down the corridor and catch Lord Francis before he could reach the front door.

 

When you finally reached the door, you are surprised to find *Familiar name* and Lord Francis playing with each other. Amused, you pocketed the letter and proceed to play with the two familiars, much to the annoyance of an impatient Reitz outside.

 

Result: +1 Familiar Kinship

 

 

 

And complete. As usual suggestion are always welcome.

 

 

 

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I liked it :P !

 

I might add some flavor to the exits though.

 

Exit 1: She has magic!

 

You take a second look at the letter, and realize the letter is decorated with magic to an extravagant level. Each letter is shiny and golden, the wax binding is enchanted to turn into a snake to attack anyone reading it that isn't you, and... is it turning into a towel? Great, you always wanted a new towel since Professor Knoht accidentally burnt your last one!

 

You triumphantly wave the previously-letter towel in front of awestruck Reitz and shoo him away.

 

Exit 2: She is good at athletic activities! <-- No idea

Exit 3: She plays good music

 

Reitz snatches the letter from you.

 

"Lemme see-"

 

Before you can grab the letter back, a beautiful melody comes out from the letter.

 

How could you forget? Your sister always liked to show off a little. Better remember to tell her how your friends loved her music!

 

Result: +1 Notation, +1 Reminder Sheet

 

Exit 4: She is linguistic

 

A closer look at the letter reveals tiny subscript of both Old Elumian and Bassan underneath each words. How could you forget about her little odd habit of making her letters seems incredibly impressive? When you were writing your application to the Academagia, you had to repeatedly explain to her that her little subscript is going to give the Professor a ridiculously high expectation of your language talents. But still, it is not like letting her indulge herself here is going to cause any harm...

 

You triumphantly tell Reitz he won't understand most of the content anyway and shoo him away. Well, it is true, isn't it?

 

Exit 5: Gates and Mastery, but don’t tell him that!

 

How could you forget? The moment you see the bird's dull, soulless eyes you already knew something is wrong. The question is, is the bird animated by the dead spirits of birds, or being Mastered to deliver letters against its will, or is it just some planar horror forcefully subdued into the form of a bird, or something worse?

 

------------------------------

 

Kaliri exam... Not sure about that, actually. A special homemade reminder sheet complete with stress reduction and study habit expansion? A letter stressing about not putting too much stress on yourself? xD

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Sorry I dont like it because this set that the player have a sister and this something the game soulden't set for the player without that the player accept it.

(I.e. the player see his char as a spoiled single child or as a person rised in a orphany)

In my opinion its even worse then the problem in 2 official quest where you are forced in some kind of relationship without the player can't say he is not interested.

 

Edit: The main problem of this kind of start for a quest/event is that the infos about the Family will be selected in seperat backgrounds in year 2 even for imported chars from year 1.

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Cool stuff. My main concern is that some players might not want their characters to have a sister. However, if this could be combined with backgrounds affecting how many siblings one has, I think it would be really awesome. :) Anyway, below I've included a few more specific comments. Also, each quoted section has been edited for grammar, phrasing and typos. You're actually really good with that stuff, but I'm neurotic when it comes to editing. I'm an extremely tough critic, so don't think that any of my comments imply a lack of skill on your part. And of course, feel free to ignore any or all of my suggestions.

 

Part 1

 

Returning to your room as Vettor’s words continue to circle around your head, you can’t help but think of your sister. The one that has always been there for you, not the one who forces you to act as a servant during one of her tea-parties.

What words? I assume he mentioned your sister, as otherwise you'd have no reason to suddenly start thinking about her. Either way, if Vettor said something, it should probably be included in the adventure.

 

 

*Tap**Tap*

 

Hmm?

 

A messenger dove is at the window.

 

Once you take the letter from its mouth and pay it with some bread from your room, you notice that the letter is from home. It’s from your sister. The nice one.

 

 

Dear*Player’s first name*,

 

How have you been? The family is fine and busy as usual, but more importantly, how have you been? Your last letter was ages ago and some of us are worried about you in that big spooky schoolcalled Academagia.

 

Is the big space here intentional? Also, I changed "in that big spooky school called Academagia" to "that big spooky school of yours." Both the sister and the player know what the school is called, so it seemed unnatural for her to phrase it like that.

 

You remember the rumours surrounding that place? Students eaten by living plants, statues coming to life, kids running off to some Gamer’s Guild and professors forcing children to listen to long boring lectures that are secretly Mastery spells...

 

Before I continue to sound like Mom, I just want to make sure you are doing well in your studies, and because Cheimare exams are coming up soon, I sent you a reminder sheet along with this letter. But most importantly, I want you to have fun and go adventuring with your friends like that kid *Highest relationship with player*. But remember that you shouldn’t skip classes all the time just to go adventuring, all right? Trust me, it really isn’t worth the detention. Well, actually it is, but don’t tell Mom I said so.

1. I don't remember off the top of my head if Academagia uses British or American spellings. Whichever they do use, be sure to be consistent with that one.

2. The sentence beginning with "Students eaten by..." is a fragment by itself, but by adding an ellipsis (...) at the end, it makes it seem like she's trailing off instead of abruptly ending the sentence.

3. Honestly, I'd remove the first paragraph, as it doesn't seem to serve any purpose other than to inform the player's character of the school's wacky hijinks, something they are already well aware of. Repeating information like that seems unnatural. If you take this suggestion, you'll also need to remove the part about sounding like Mom.

4. What is a reminder sheet? If it's just a piece of paper saying when exams are, why does she know when exams are, and why does she believe the PC does not? Either way, sending a reminder note for a test with a letter that explicitly reminds the PC of the exam seems redundant.

5. The sister comes across as more motherly than sisterly. I get that she's always supportive, but I imagine a supportive sister being more likely to ask about one's friends and personal happiness as opposed to nagging their sibling to study for tests. With that in mind, I found the most believable part of the letter to be when the sister doubles back on herself and says the PC actually should skip classes to go adventuring so long as the PC doesn't tell Mom that the sister said so.

 

 

I may edit more later, but that's all I have for now. As I said before, feel free to ignore all of this, and above all, keep writing. ;)

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Sorry I dont like it because this set that the player have a sister and this something the game soulden't set for the player without that the player accept it.

(I.e. the player see his char as a spoiled single child or as a person rised in a orphany)

In my opinion its even worse then the problem in 2 official quest where you are forced in some kind of relationship without the player can't say he is not interested.

 

Edit: The main problem of this kind of start for a quest/event is that the infos about the Family will be selected in seperat backgrounds in year 2 even for imported chars from year 1.

 

This is supposed to only trigger if the player picks the "Family: Big Sister" background that Leoshi also wrote, so it won't force the player into an relationship : P

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Schwarzbart:

 

The letter was meant for the Big Sister background I wrote so I hope this changes your opinion now.

 

And which two official quest were you talking about? They sound interesting.

 

CremePudding:

 

Thanks for the suggestions even thought it meant removing Part 2. But I feel that this made the event better.laugh.gif

Eon:

 

Thank you and truth be told I really need someone to actually show me my errors considering that English isn't my native language.

 

Now to answer the faults you pointed out.

 

1) Vettor is used in the game to remind / warn you that the Cheimare exams will happen in a month so I made this event to happen after he talks to you.

 

2) The space was not intentional, copying the entire event from Microsoft Words causes some problems all the time.angry.gif

 

3) The English in school I learnt is UK English but the TV shows I watched are using American English, so it causes a lot of grammar mistakes. The language in the game actually confused me too, the Legate (Orso Orsi) even used the phrase "What's Up?" (I forgot which event that was)

 

4) A Reminder Sheet is an item used in the game to increase your Study level of your choice by 1. It is not normally encountered in the game thought (In my opinion).

 

5) Most of the letter is just for laughs. The important thing is that the sister comes across as a caring person. And writing the letter is hard for a eldest child in the family.tongue.gif

 

I hope that this answers your problems with the event. Thanks again for the corrections.

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You know this event will be very rare then? (First the player need to have to get the right background and then its one of the endless number of events you can encounter)

I suggest to think about a adventure instead of a event with this limitation.

Edit: Or maybe you fix it on a day where it come up 100% like the Holyday events.

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English isn't your native language? Wow, you actually write better than the majority of Americans I know. I can certainly do more work with phrasing and grammar (I'm a writing tutor, so it's sort of my thing), but I wasn't lying when I said you were pretty good. You could have said you were from London or Toronto and I would have believed you. In any case, I'll try and edit some more soon.

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Schwarzbart:

 

Ah now I understand. Thanks for the advice. This event will happen on the 2nd of Gelamenus but only if you have picked the background I wrote. I hope this makes it clear now.

 

Eon:

 

Thanks again.

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And the second letter is complete. Feel free to offer your suggestions.

 

 

Still, food for thought.

 

 

1) Purple cats? Really? Any particular reason for the colour purple Legate?

 

2) May I suggest a few events that involves the PC's familiar in an exit? Throughout this game, I never once encountered an event in which the familiar would help out the PC.

 

3) Looking through the Mod tool I saw a turtle familiar. Now think about the turtle familiar and Exit 5 without the wind spell. tongue.gif

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I assume you mean Familiar Kinship... even though you really like your sister xD

 

Ahh!! Edited!

 

Thanks for pointing that out CremePudding. blush.gif

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good thing it is not MY sister,LOL.

will this be in a new DLC?I can't see it in the current DLC...

 

My recollection is that the Devs liked Leoshi's Big Sister background. However, they haven't implemented it yet because they have their own ideas on expanding the role of the PC's family in the 2nd Year and want to make sure the new background would work with that system. On the other hand, two of the other backgrounds proposed by Leoshi in the linked thread, specifically Tutoring: Grifter and History: Secrets and Silence, have already been added to the game. So it's still possible that eventually the background and event will be added.

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