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Oh, I love Innocents. It's hard to find a good WoD book I don't like, I admit. I'm a huge fan of White Wolf- I grew up on Vampire the Masquerade. There's a few shoutouts to White Wolf games, actually, though mostly in places not noticed (all of Aaran's second adventure has the individual parts named after Sidereal charms, which is probably not something anyone is going to notice).

 

 

I have to disagree about the ages of children, though. Perhaps it depends on where you live- in fact, I would be positive about that- but I work with kids as a living (if you can call it a living :blush:). In general, we observe that from 9 to 14 or so, kids start acting like, well, each other. At nine years old, the girls are playing house one day, then talking about their boyfriends hours later, then back to playing pretend later, then even later, practicing makeup. Especially with older children around, they imitate the older kids (trying to explain why I don't really care if the fifteen year olds peck each others lips (just telling them to stop that) but certainly do when the ten year olds do (scolding them and separating if necessary) inevitably ends up with me being called an ageist (witch), sigh). I think the kids at Academagia don't have nearly as much adult supervision, as the adventures and events show (there's constantly kids breaking the rules, being bored, and getting in to ridiculous amounts of trouble and pain). We just had the discussion in the questions thread- these kids can basically cut each up other with swords, and as long as someone isn't 'severely' harmed, the adults aren't okay with it. I can do full damage during a duel with a knife, for that matter, and no one cares that I'm leaving poor Girars hobbling around with blood-loss (or that I basically boiled his blood, for that matter). Or I can use the adventure Leoshi mentioned and send conjured beings that heavily resemble demons and set them after my upperclassmen's after making a Faustian bargain with a dragon trapped in a book.

 

(For the record, nothing I wrote comes as dark as that book adventure (personally, I'm fond of it- I like the darkness of it compared to the generally idealizised and happy of the rest of the game, as I think it brings out how happy the rest of the game *is*), though I would put the Mastery adventure as quite dark. Aaran points it out yourself: you two have each other to practice on if you trust each other, but other then that, any increase in Mastery is going to have to come by using it on unwilling targets. You don't have a choice unless you want to give up Mastery. That's pretty dark and a pretty iffy decision of your character to make- even if you tell yourself you're going to use Mastery for good reasons, to get to that point, you're going to have to do some pretty icky things with it.)

 

(There's also an event where Miya breaks her ankle that's sort of gory, but not all that dark.)

 

 

I'm not actually sure this game is made for kids. I think it would be a rare kid who could take all the reading, especially considering the size of the font on the screen most people use these days. I'd definitely place it 13+: I think the biggest market is probably young adults around collage age, but the Legate would have to confirm that. It certainly seems to be the biggest group on the forum, though the forum is rarely that representative of the actual statistics.

 

 

 

I think a big part with making childishness work in this game, though, is never pointing out that someone is acting childish. As you guys said, for thse kids, it's life and death, even the small things (MY HAIR ISN'T RIGHT ARGHHHH MY LIFE IS OVERRRR). So even when Miya is at her worst, I never say it's childish in text, even though when I'm writing it, I'm certainly thinking 'this is her being incredibly childish'. Let the player hopefully think that themselves, rather then putting it in for their *character* to think... as likely, the character is just as childish themselves in their own way.

 

 

 

...Something about flaws later on, I think.

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Good? Bad? Confusing? These get changed every few days, but I keep trying to find ones I like to settle on. Tell me if these sound good, or if they still need more work.

 

 

Miya is perhaps the only student in the school who could claim herself more exotic then Mhadi, and she does so quite proudly. She’s from a land so far East it lies beyond the Onyx Isles, her parents are famous smugglers chased from her homeland by the mysterious ninja, she’s lived her life as a skypirate, and, oh, she’s a runaway princess… or so she claims. She’s quick in thought and deed, but her tongue’s quicker than both, and every other sentence out of her is a fib. She calls herself a humble storyteller, but many people find her an intolerable liar, no matter how amusing her lies can sometimes be.

 

 

There’s no student more odd then Aaran- thus, it’s something of a relief that he spends more time in the infirmary then he does out of it. He’s supposedly from the streets of Mineta, but it seems he can barely survive the rigors of the Academagia. He’s not all that skilled at as a mage anyway, but he seems linked to some Astrological happenstance: when he’s around, odd things happen. It’s almost like the odds of probability and chance get shredded, making him something like the center of a storm of weirdness. He can’t explain it, not in anyway that doesn’t involve a fifteen minute babble about the concept of destiny. It’s a rare torrent of words from someone who’s mostly quiet, still, and unnoticeable when he’s around to be noticed at all.

 

 

Louise is a very bitter girl. Her hair is constantly matted with dirt, her robes are usually stained, she makes no expression but a frozen lip-twist somewhere between a pout and a sneer, and she’s always glaring. She hates everything, especially the Academagia, and she hates everyone, especially her fellow pupils and her instructors. The only thing that seems to make her happy is her familiar, who’s even more unfriendly then she is. Smart people just stay out of her way, but those smarter still notice there’s an odd sort of desperation about her- as well as a rare sort of dignity.

 

 

Antonio is brilliant, they say, if often with a trace of exasperation. He’s a mercenary brat, but still carries with him Monteon good looks- and while he’s not as nice as Noemia, he’s friendly, cheerful, and not as arrogant as one might expect. He’s also athletic, talented, acing all his classes, a natural genius with languages, and good at practically everything he does. He just never stops. There’s a joke that he doesn’t sleep or eat, as that would take time away from studying, working, or socializing. Depressingly, the joke is more true then most people realize. Antonio hates anything that stops him from his goal of perfection, as resting quite certainly does.

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Ahem. I haven't touched the game in a reeeeally long time, but I still check the forums one in a while. So today I stumbled upon this thread and did a lot of reading. Quite a lot of smiling to myself also. And I just had to come out and say "Keep up the good work!", because the whole thing, hidden in a Corner as it is, looks beautiful. Sorry for a lack of any other input or constructive criticism. I am usually good at criticism :rolleyes: This time a content smile is the only reaction I can manage. :wub:

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Thank you, Phoenix! While constructive criticism is something I very much need, it's not at all necessary. Just reading posts of people saying that they're looking forward to what I'm doing and are reading this thread makes me happy and encourages me to continue on. I admit, I tend to get disappointed when a while goes by without any posts: I do the whole "Is anyone out there caring? Should I quit! Wah!" routine like a feedback-starved child. ;) So just knowing that you think it looks good is great to me, and helps get me back on track to continue working and writing.

 

 

 

I know I said I'd post something about flaws, but I'm a bit busy at the moment. So instead, I'll post what I could use from you guys.

 

A) Portrait editors. Oh gosh, portrait help. Really needed. Else you're going to get 'NOT TABIN', 'NOT GIRARS', 'NOT AMSITA', which I don't think would go over very well. ;)

 

B) Feedback on the above bios. Already I can spot one mistake- Aaran's shouldn't use the word odd twice so close to each other. But what do you guys think? Do the bios seem interesting? Were there parts of the posts I made back on page one that you liked better? Do they seem to fit with the in game bios?

 

C) Feedback on the familar descriptions, which will be posted after dinner today. As you can only see those in the toolset, not in the actual game, I'm not as concerned about them, but I still would love opinions.

 

D) This is a sort of weird request, but one I could use some urgent help with: ideas for events with Louise. The amount of events I have for her are almost half the events I have for Antonio or Miya (admittedly, Louise had her events pruned- Miya and Toni have yet to go through the prune-ing and rewriting process). Events don't have to be solely about the character (few are, actually): they can just involve the character being around in a weird or actually pretty darn average situation. So if you have any suggestions, or any situations you'd like to see her in, please toss them out! What to see how she deals with trolls? Want an opportunity to rescue her from something? Just toss out an idea, and I'll try to put it in to event form, as I'm running out of ideas. :(

 

(if you have ideas for the others, feel free to toss them out, too, though Louise is the only one that really needs them)

 

 

As usual, if you have any questions you'd like to ask the four (or an individual one of the four), lemme know. Ask them about the conditions of their birth, their relationship with their mom, if they have siblings, what they would do if a tiger jumped out at them- I'll answer, unless it's too spoilerly. ;)

 

 

Thank you all. :)

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B) guys is always ruining the B ). Shame on you, cool dude.

 

 

In other news, Louise has stomped somewhere 42 times. Having won the life and universe and all in it, I'm using my winnings to buy myself a dictionary.

 

(As usual, feedback, questions, etc, still wanted. Yay! Thank you.)

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I like how spellcheck wants to correct kitsune in to iTunes. Oi vei.

 

These are unlikely to be the final drafts- even more unlikely then the bios above. Still, I'd like opinions on them all the same.

 

Thanks. :3

 

 

 

A hundred years must pass before a fox may gain their second tail, but like his mistress, Aki is a bit impatient. Thankfully, also like his mistress, Aki is rather charming.

 

If he wasn’t, he would have been skinned by now.

 

Aki is one of the most adorable familiars on the campus. There's little competition: fox familiars are surprisingly rare in Mineta and their surroundings, Aki is the most brilliant shade of red and carries with him the bearing of the noble kitsune, and most importantly, Aki talks to everyone he sees. His Eluium is barely passable: it's in fact hideous, with the only words the fox can get out correctly usually being "Treat?" and "Play!", but most people don't care. It's something of a novelty to have a little fox familiar run up to you and start happily jabbering away, even if you can't understand what he's saying. Aki is constantly given little toys and food bits, and is absolutely thrilled with life at Academagia.

 

His pleasure comes at Miya's distress, though. With so many things being given to him, Aki has yet to grasp the concept of ownership, leaving Miya constantly returning items her familiar picks up (only pilfering a few of them). Even worse, it means Aki's often serving his pleasure and not carrying out Miya's wishes. On most occasions, they get together like close siblings, but on occasions when Miya really wants something done, a battle of wills break out as the girl tries to convince the fox that it really needs to stop playing around with other humans and go cooperate with her. It's a battle that Miya loses more often then she likes to admit.

 

 

A frail boy with white skin and red eyes accompanied by a dog of all muscle with a coat of pure black and eyes of shining yellow makes for an unpleasant contrast. Tepte alone has scared more then one student in to screaming: when she’s with her master at night, the two of them look more like messenger’s of the dead then a boy and his familiar.

 

Which disappoints Tepte terribly, but she's a rather dignified breed, and keeps it to herself. She looks more like Aaran's honor guard then anything else, and she hates leaving his side. If she isn’t pacing in circles around her master or resting beside him, she’s almost inevitably waiting patiently outside the door of whatever class he’s in. Separation from Aaron, no matter how reasonable the cause, makes her irritable, and people generally try to avoid making a three-foot dog of full muscle irritable. Tepte isn’t at all aggressive, but she certainly doesn’t come across as friendly.

 

Students step out of her way, but their familiars whisper that when Tepte is alone with her master, she’s always up for a game of catch, or if he’s too busy to comply, a fun game of ‘OH MY GOSH THERE IS THIS FURRY LONG THING RIGHT BEHIND ME I NEED TO CHASE IT IN CIRCLES FOR A WHILE WEE’. Tepte would be horribly embarrassed if she found out anyone but her master had seen her enjoying such things, but Aaron thinks it’s good for her to make some friends among the other familiars, and then hopefully spend a bit of time outside. Tepte prefers to pretend she can’t hear him whenever he starts that up: like her master, beneath her defenses, she’s terribly shy, too.

 

 

The Hochmeister is not a name. It is a title. A rather fancy one, even when translated in to a barbaric (to an eagle, anyway) speech humans prefer. She holds it proudly, even though she'd prefer that humans besides her bondmate's never dare speak to her. Other students and familiars call her savage: there’s a reason why they have her staying in the Aviary rather then with Louise, and it’s called ‘attempting to eat your human’s roommate’s ferret’. She isn’t evil- no true hawk can be so, or so the old stories say- but she's certainly cruel.

 

The imprisonment does nothing for the Hochmeister’s temper. She longs to fly free, and encourages Louise’s desires for the same. If Louise ever does decide to runaway as she so often threatens to, it is certain to be at the urgings of her familiar.

 

 

Fanuco does not look like a familiar. He looks like a stray cat who just happened to wander on to the Academagia grounds that no one’s figured out how to get rid of yet. He’s too thin, no matter how much the staff (and random Mordvius students) try to feed him, and a bit too scarred. He’s almost too cat-like: he’s constantly napping in places that he should have no way of getting in to, and he tends to react to suggestions that he move with a one-eyed glare that speaks of simmering hatred and disgust. He really doesn’t seem like the sort of animal any wizard would choose as a familiar, much less one as social and cheerful as Antonio.

 

Both cat and human are of the opinion that’s why they fit together perfectly. And that anyone who thinks they’re not all that alike really doesn’t know either of them all that well.

 

They do argue, though: to hear some Aranaz students, that's all they seem to do. Fanuco is well-known for trying to convince his Master to rest more often, and for sometimes trying to enforce that command with claws. Antonio, in turn, has gotten very good at dodging.

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Looking for feedback, looking for input... /sing-songs

 

Any would be much beloved. :)

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I am seeing an event in which Fanuco unintentionally scratches Antonio at a wound he had gotten when playing with some friends. Antonio screams aloud and Fanuco actually shows how much he would care about the boy.

 

Does that help?smile.gif

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That does, thank you! I had events for the other three and their familars, but I do not have an event with Antonio and Fanuco. Now I do. Thank you. :D

 

 

 

I've come down with what we refer to the plague (if we're being polite, which I am, as the other names are much more crude). I've basically been unable to do anything for four days now, and while I'm 'recovering', it's very slow. I'm sorry for the lack of response to PMs and the like: hopefully this weekend I'll be able to sit down and actually stay on the computer long enough to do things.

 

As one would expect, this means no progress has been done on this, but I still am coming up with events in my mind and plotting. Could still use some ideas, criticism, and all that, though, so if you can offer it, I very much need it and would appreciate it.

 

 

Fingers crossed: the portrait thing may be taken care of. Woo! :)

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The plague? As in the flu or something? But get well soon and continue your work! emot-dance.gif

 

 

Something to think about: What would happen if snotty Catherine Chard were to run into The Hochmeister (blink.gif) ? Or Aki? Or whaat if Cosetta Re was caught spying by The Hochmeister (blink.gif) ?

 

I have time to think of these and I don't have time to update my little story. *Sigh*

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I had a neurovirus strain. This one was particularly evil because there was no immunity to it: unless one has chronic bronchitis, for instance, one is likely to catch bronchitis, get over it, and not get it again for like a month. This neurovirus hit and hit hard, and one could catch it multiple times in a row due to lack of the system building up immunity. I caught it twice, being well for two days in between the hits. It is a very evil illness, and I really hope I don't catch it again- I spent far too much time sick. Fingers crossed.

 

 

I'm probably going to take a minor break from rewriting everything in order to play a game or two, just to try and come up with some ideas. Might do a roleplay of my own, after being inspired by you, Leoshi... a Morvidus bully. >.> On the plus side, it'll also be a spoiler roleplay, as I'll be playing with incomplete but there versions of these four kids in there from before I decided to wait for the newest mod base. So, woo! As I posted before, there also is some hope going on portraits, and the Legate responded positively to Schwarzbart's request of us seeing the modbase this month, so... these four will hopefully be out and released, well, not too long after the modbase is released. I finished the card games adventure, so I really only have the dueling (with SWORDS!) adventure to finish writing. As said before, I'm rewriting for quality and because it's fun. So... yeah. Things are looking good, modwise. :)

 

 

I think Catherine Chard and the Hochmeister have had quite a few encounters... unfortunately, none pleasant. One of the reasons why the Hochmiester is on such a short list is because it is the lovely Ms. Chard she keeps having encounters with: in general, if you want to choose a student to antagonise, a student with such influental parents isn't the best choice. (This is why Louise is also going along with things rather then doing a more active temper-tantrum attempts to get her bird back at her side: she hates Catherine, but she knows that if more problems pop up, she's going to lose the 'let's see who has more influence around Academagia', especially when she is obviously the one in the wrong.)

 

There have been no noted disputes between Catherine and Aki. She may have even said (it's all heresy, after all) that she even said he was cute, if you took out the whole flea-ragged mongrel thing. Of course, most girls find Aki cute, so perhaps it's not too surprising. As Miya and Catherine spend a lot of time in the same place (haunting the Dimmae Theatre and acting), Catherine's had a few run-ins with Aki. So far, no brush ups.

 

(The Hochmeister said she was going to eat Aki, once, if the creature didn't stop it's distasteful babbling in her direction. This made Aki very sad, until Miya assured her familiar that Aki is too big to be eaten by a hawk. Miya is not sure if that is actually true, but it's Miya. That's pretty usual for her.)

 

For a creature that dislikes everything, Cosetta's spying would not offend the Hochmeister more then the bird is generally offended. It is good to spy on ones rivals, and everyone is a rival. Now, if Cosetta was spying on her Louise, that would be something else, but so far the Hochmeister has not caught Cosetta entertaining such an action, so she only gives slow nods of approval at Cosetta's actions.

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There was a hawk flying around my apartment complex today. No idea what it was doing here, but what a beautiful creature. I sat outside and watched it for twenty minutes or so. Magnificent and all the words we commonly use to describe them sort of pale in comparison to how awesome they are in reality.

 

Think I just won myself a +2 or so relationship boost with Louise, but she'd never admit it. ;)

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I finally settled on 10 events for each student, at least for the initial release. That's still more then most of the already-there students have, and I didn't want to go overboard.

 

This means Aaran needs one more, Louise needs three more, and Miya and Antonio both need around five cut (though those events may show up later). As usual, if you have any ideas, let me know... even if it's for the latter two. Your ideas might be better then mine, and after all, it could always show up later. :)

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The fact that I have been labelled as a Morvidus bully just made me think. What if Aaran was blamed for the destruction of a senior's project? What would he do?

 

I'm a bully? Really?

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All Morvidus are bullies, deep inside. Even the sweet little flower-child girl. Thus they get the background of bitter hatred and not glorious sweet Aranaz, who would never bully anyone.

 

They swear.

 

(No, you're not a bully. <3 My Morvidus student would be, though, if I had made one. But Leoshi (and Artemis) is nice. :D)

 

 

As for poor Aaran: PANIC!

 

No, I'll field it to him.

 

"Hide in Cyrus's room to come up with a plan. No one looks for me there, and he wouldn't care: he only goes there to sleep, too busy charming girls as that's apparently all he does- have you ever noticed that? How does he pass his classes? And anyway, if someone does find me there's an easy escape out the window as they made sure if his familiar destroyed them again and he fell he'd be safe so its a soft landing. Ah... tangent-ed. Right. Continue trying to come up with a plan. Turn invisible? Invisible is good.

 

"Ah, maybe fake sickness and hide in the infirmary. Or get sick. That's easy for me. No one can do you harm in the infirmary, the nurses are all part owl. Their heads twist and they see everything. Oh, but first read the cards and see if it's going to be a tiny beating or a big beating if they catch up. If it's a tiny one, I might as well take it. And go to the infirmary anyway. My life is very cycle-r at times."

 

(pause for breath)

 

"Did I really destroy the project or is it a mistake? I could find the real culprit, mayhaps. Dialect teaches how. Should put lessons to good use. Actually feel like I'm learning something then. But the challenge would be getting them to believe me, and I'm not very believeable. Maybe if Tepte was with me. She makes me more convincing then otherwise, not sure why. Must be part of the familiar bond.

 

"...I don't know. This is all hypothetical, correct? No one really thinks I destroyed their project? If they did, I'm panicking. A lot. She isn't going to make an event out of this, is she? It doesn't sound like a very fun event for me. I think I'm being oppressed, here."

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Poor Mordin. XD I think that's an insult to him, somehow.

 

Then again, I could actually see him babbling part of the second half of that ramble... /giggle

 

I wonder if I should brush up on my Gilbert and Sullivan?

 

(I'm joking. Really.)

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Worked on useless stuff the last few days: adventure ideas for Miya and Aaran in year two, and fleshing out a Durand and a Morvidus student. Mostly just for fun stuff. I'm trying to finish writing the last adventure I need to write (the swordsmaster/dueling adventure, which is an off-shoot adventure that Louise has a medium part in), but I just haven't had the inspiration for it, so I've been goofing off on other stuff instead. I'm bad. ;;

 

I've gotten a few PMs lately encouraging me to go on with this project. I have no plans to quit, but I can't tell you how much it means to me that people care and are looking forward to this- so thank you. I'll do my best to release very quickly after the mod tools are out. Or at least send it over to the Legate and the staff, depending on how things go.

 

 

Lemme see... let's play the did you know game!

 

Did you know that Miya was originally a full out sky pirate, complete with minor pirate talk? Yes, I actually had her doing ahoy there's and yarr's. Very embarrassing.

 

Did you know that Aaran originally had storm demon blood? I then realized that was pretty silly (fae-blood is one thing, but storm demon?), so I tied his family to a storm demon, that 'protected' his family line in return for some power (or health, as the case would be). I then decided that was silly, too, but Aaran still has a lot of wind references. (For the record, I would associate Miya with fire, Louise with earth, and Antonio with water, but you could switch Miya and Antonio without two much issue- Louise and Aaran are perfect for that elemental association, though.)

 

You know that Louise was originally a Morjerk (;))- I had trouble placing her, but do you know she was in Durand for a time, too? It fit her not all that well. I think her and Flore would get along pretty well, though, at least till Flore dropped her facade.

 

Did you know how I decided what house Louise ended up in in the end? Whoever won the merit competition in the game I was currently playing. She honestly would have fit in to either house very well, though since the decision I've tried to add traits to make her more Vernin-like then she was. Pretty embarrassing way to sort someone, though.

 

Did you know Aaran's name has changed at least seven times? Mostly his last, but his first as well. Originally, Aaran was supposed to give you Aaron hints and thus reveal where he was from, but the more we found out about the world, the more I realized the Egyptian name and concept wasn't going to work. He's now from one of the two lands that were involved in the bloody mine-rights war, though I can't find my notes saying which one. Shoot.

 

Did you know Miya was originally not from the far east, and was just lying through her teeth about that? I decided she needed at least one (or two things) to be truthful about, though, and that was it. Besides, I really want to do an adventure about pirates versus ninjas one day. I'm a simple kinda' gal, sometimes.

 

Did you know why Antonio isn't on here? Because almost nothing has changed about his concept at all. He's stayed almost completely the same from start to now, which is perhaps scarier then anything.

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Louise as a Morj ... er ... Morvidus? *Shocked*

 

I see Philippe bullying Louise and Louise fighting back and then Joana seeing this as more of a mating call and then the bullying expands until Professor Storey goes completely bald.

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Hah~! Yeah, she was going to be a Morvidus, but I like the Morvidus student I just designed better for the house, in truth. Besides, I wanted to put her in the house where her no merit competing would do the least amount of harm, and Vernin has a slight tendency to outperform Morv in my games (slight, mind you- they tend to both be pretty up there).

 

As for the bullying chain... I think Louise might have a chance against Phillipe, but not against Joana. That would end in pain for her, I fear, but she'd keep trying, darn it! Still, when fighting against love, it's a difficult cause. ;)

 

 

As for Louise, current progress is rewriting her adventure. Woo!

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Currently sort of stalled in progress due to the usual 'wah my writing sucks' deal all writers go through. Will probably get over it in a few days: it usually lasts a week or so. ;)

 

Plans are again to finalize Louise (still need to redo (redo meaning mostly 'edit, add new exits, take out paragraphs that are unneccessary, and glare at for a while before shrugging and letting it be') her adventure, redo two events, and write one new one), then skipping ahead and going to do Aaran. After him, I have no idea if I'll do Miya and Antonio- we'll see what the progress is on the mod tools at that point.

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One request.

 

Try something like this:

 

Chosen One: K-9, I need to know what weapons you can use.

K-9: Teeth, master. Sharp white shiny things in my mouth.

 

wink.gif

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Heh. I miss the humor of the old Fallouts... and PS:T, and Baldur's Gate, and so on. Sarcasm appeals to me, so we'll definitely see. :D

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