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The Magnificent Minetian Magpie!


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Enjoy with some popcorn. :)


HB: Anyone recognized the writer? I think he did the other famous play. What was it? Hey! Anyone from the school playing a part in this? I bet the effects team are students. Do you think I could be one when I graduate?...


RdC: If you could stop talking for a minute! I heard about this special effects team. Not bad.


RlS: Not bad? Pah. Wait till you see what I come up with.


NFyP: Are there any scary parts in this play? I don't really like scary parts.


NU: Me neither. I ... I ... think I ... better go to the ... washroom first.


PM: Hey! Try not to wet your pants this time. Hah!


JLyR: Popcorn? *My love*


BR: Hey! Those are mine!


Random Fourth Year: Pipe down in front!




Presenting, a brand new play by famous playwright Leonardo de Alva


The Magnificent Minetian Magpie!!


Our story begins on a moonlit balcony, overlooking the great Ardica Lake, where a vicious battle was taking place between two ultimately warriors.


“Ha! Your defences are in ruins. Your powers have faltered. What other tricks do you wish to employ now my devious Lord Adrian Char the Fourth?”


The woman, dressed still in her professional robes, her silky brown hair tied into a thick bun, and her magnificent eyes which shone amber-like behind her thick glasses, gave the man before her a sly smile.


The handsome, young and fabulously rich Lord Adrian Char, dressed in his favourite red silk vest and shirt, combed a hand through his soft and immaculate brown hair. He let out a sigh that would have melted any woman’s heart. He flashed his twinkling blues eyes at the young woman in front of him, softening her.


The young lady, like so many other young(er) ladies before her, was instantly seduced by those lovely eyes. Eyes that could make any lady follow this wonderful man to the ends of the world. Or at least under a warm blanket.


She muttered “I’m sorry” and commanded her Thousand-armed Potato-man to wring the very life out of the man’s Pudding General, thus ending the exciting game of The Proving GroundTM.


“Ah. Another wonderful game my lady Schwarzbart. A wonderful game.” The man named Adrian poured another round of grape juice into the enchanted goblets settled on a nearby end table, the drink chilled by the magic in the exquisitely crafted silver drinking vessels.


Having down their drinks, the pretty lady Schwarzbart smiled and said “My Lord Adrian, you are usually very careful with your strategies. What troubles you tonight?”


The handsome young man sighed again as he stood, straightening his tight leather trousers. “Haaah … the recent robberies of precious magical artefacts, my beautiful lady. I have employed many tricks and traps to capture our thieves but so far they have managed to avoid triggering any of them.”


The lady clasped the man’s hand in hers. “I understand your frustrations Lord Adrian. I apologized for being so insensitive.” At this, Lord Adrian said “No! I am the insensitive one. I was the one who had not provided a most pleasing challenge to you tonight. But who can challenge you with those irresistible eyes.”


The Lord Adrian held up the Lady’s hand, “That wonderful smile.” He holds her closer, “Those wonderful lips.” They edge in closer together, close enough to feel the heat off the other’s face.


They tossed away their goblets and locked lips, loss in the passion and without a regard for the outside world.


At least that would have happened.


“Wow! You play The Proving GroundsTM too Professor Schwarzbart?”


JLyR: What a jerk for ruining such romance!


PM: What?


JLyR: Nothing. You wanted more popcorn? *My shining knight*


Both the Lord and Lady looked towards the board game with a surprised. Recognizing the figure however, The Lord rolls his eyes.


A boy, small in size but full of zeal, clambered over the balcony and accidentally knocks the drinks and the table down. “Sorry. Sorry!” said the boy as he bends over to clean up the mess but succeeds in knocking over the board game with a swish of his Morvidus robes.


Cd'A: Stupid Morvidus.


Morvidus 1st: We heard that!


“Leonard. *Sigh* Haven’t we discussed about your tendencies to climb up tall buildings already?”


“My Lady,” said Lord Adrian a little hurriedly, “Perhaps we may continue our duel some other time yes? The boy must have something important to say if he chose to climb this building instead of doing something as mundane as giving a message to my personal messenger owl.”


The Lady Schwarzbart looked at Leonard as a goblet slipped from the, strangely slick, gloved hands of the boy, making an awfully loud clatter.


All the professor / Lady could do was look at the Lord Adrian slightly suspiciously until held her chin in his strong but gentle hands and secretly charmed her through the tattoos on the inside of his eye-sockets.


All: Ew...


As soon as the Lady walks out of the room dreaming of butterflies dancing along the breeze, Adrian drops his calm persona, adopts a more serious expression and turns towards the bumbling boy.


“Someone has targeted another artefact?”


Leonard, dropping the goblets as well as the bottle of juice and spilling the contents everywhere, saluted and replied “Yes sir! I saw someone coming out of the greenhouse holding a sack with a glowing bottom. I have no idea why the artefact would be there but the perpu … perpa … thief was also wearing a rather mad looking hat!”


AC: Typical Morvidus.


VC: I'll make a storm cloud in his drawers


Adrian blew out the only burning candle in the room and said “Good. Now to follow that thief and find out who has been stealing all these artefacts once and for all.”


Giddily, Leonard ran up to Adrian as the man traced the hidden tattoos along his left arm.


Adrian muttered “Seventh of Seven” and motioned to gently push aside someone. A soft blue portal opened as he did so, rectangular in shape and extremely illegal in nature.


Too excited, Leonard rushed into the portal yelling “Wahoo!” and then “Ahhh!” as he fell straight down into a yawning abyss.


He was screaming for quite a while until Adrian just taps him on the head and said “Stop playing and get into uniform.” The boy, shamefully, pulls himself off the magnificently soft carpet.


Walking down the centre, the Lord Adrian passes through the many layers of his magnificent hidden hideout, The Magpie’s Nest!


Located in a secret shadowy dimension, this hideout is harder to find than the Legate of Academagia during working hours.


All: *Loud laughter*


The Nest was circular, each layer unique. The outer most was composed of trophies from the defeat of The Magpie’s many foes. Most notable was the giant stuffed bear toy, used by the sinister Baby Badboy. Or the incredibly long and thick spear used by The Perilous Poacher. Another was a golden mechanical arm used by Ms. Firemoth to shoot moths. Which explode into flames that could burn down a dorm in seconds.


Adrian had spent less than ten seconds to put on his uniform. A black and white bodysuit to resemble his namesake, boots and clawed gloves, a full-face cowl with lens and a short beak, a belt containing his many weaponry, and along with a dark cloak that appears to be made of feathers. Along with a nice hat so that the mask wouldn’t seem so ridiculous.


The Magpie made his way into the centre chamber, where it was filled with wall-sized screens and globes monitoring many places in Elumia. The primary screen however was always fixated on Mineta, the one place dearest to The Magpie after the death of his guardian, Aunt Juniper.


On this night, the lit streets of Mineta were patrolled by tiny eyeballs on tentacle-legs created by the great Alerio, a friend of The Magpie who has since passed on.


“No.1 move a little to your left. No.2, 5 and 18 cover the corners in case our thief decides to divert from the usual route. Are you ready yet Apprentice?”


“Coming!” shouted the boy in his Dark-green and black outfit. It was initially composed of whatever the boy could get his hands on before The Magpie improved it.


“Ready!” said the over-eager Apprentice. Adrian turned and kneaded his forehead at the sight of his apprentice. “Now what did I tell you about your uniform?”


“What?” said the youngster. “Specially-treated gloves for handling all manners of potions, poisons and persons. Armoured shirt. Enchanted shoes for all the running I have to do. A cowl with these weird lenses on them. Belt and pouches. And this really awesome cape. What else am I missing?”


“Your trousers,” said the man wearily. “But it helps with my flexibility when fighting crime!” complained the boy.


GI: Typical Mo...


Morvidus 1st: We get it already!


After arguing with the boy on the sensibleness of putting on your trousers versus parading around in your underwear for everyone to see (and succeeding in forcing the boy into his trousers), The Magpie and The Apprentice stood over a blue ring drawn into the black marble floor.


“Try not to scream this time,” said The Magpie casually to his suddenly-scared Apprentice as the circle glowed. The circle of black marble disappeared and the two were plunging downwards through the clouds towards the city of Mineta.


The Magpie observed the mountains to the left of Mineta as he fell straight down towards the unforgiving pavement below, noting the almost unobservable red glows on the peaks. Almost unobservable if it wasn't for his magically enchanted lenses.


Through the cowl, The Magpie could observe that the thief was making his or her way pass the Piazza Athanasius towards the Venalicium. Another Walking-Eye had observed a strange glow coming from the Forum of Naxum, leading The Magpie to believe the thief was heading there.


He grabbed his scared-silent Apprentice and muttered a spell. A portal swallowed the two and placed them on a roof, overlooking the Admiratio. Leonard, after taking a moment to steady his knees, peered over the roof and saw the thief approaching from the west.


“Now?” gestured the boy.


“Patience,” replied the man.


The duo remained three steps ahead of the thief, running along roofs, clinging to railings and gliding across long gaps between buildings.


“Something is wrong,” whispered The Magpie as the duo reached the Forum of Naxum. The city guards were stiff. Not that they were so disciplined that they would stand still all night but they were unusually stiff tonight. The duo jumped and landed without the slightest whisper in an alley.


Apprentice approached a guard from behind and touched the rather large man. He didn’t react at all and remained oddly stiff.


“Paralysed. Clearly the work of that evil …”


The Apprentice was cut off as a powerful blast of lightning hit him hard in the chest. The Magpie was about to pull his ward to safety when two burly men appeared in a puff of fog from nowhere.


KH: Nice effects!


“This small birdie. Where big bird?”


“No problum! Bring back to Mistress for candy! Krong like candy!”


Kring, the other big burly ape, would have replied with glee but a big bird man came from above and smashed his face into the pavement. Krong looked at the bird man and searched his brain for an appropriate reaction. He received two boots to the chest instead.


JN: Kring-Krong? Mmm...


Both were down in less than 30 seconds.


“Apprentice!” shouted our hero but large stone hands burst from the ground and choked the air from The Magpie.

Laughter came from above him. The Magpie struggles to look as his suit prevented the hands from utterly crushing his organs and breaking his bones.


A lady jumped down from the rooftops. She wore a pirate shirt with tight-length leggings. Her dark flowing hair was swept to one side as she gazed through her hardened brown eyes at the man before. She actually shot red beams of light at The Magpie’s hand as he tried to reach for something.


“Pirate Professor Patricia Puddington. Why am I not surprised?”


“Tsk tsk, why so angry my dear rival?” said the voluptuous Professor as she put a stiletto boot on the man’s chest. “Is it because I fried your little servant boy? Or is it because I stole these trinkets?” The woman held up a precious ruby skull, marked with a rune on the forehead.


“What are you planning to summon this time?” Each word was a burden on The Magpie’s breathing as he searched his memory for that skull.


Professor Puddington took a breath to answer but held up a hand to block incoming fireballs. She looked to her left and found The Apprentice, struggling to steady himself but still looking defiant.


She smiled and threw a mini storm and earthquake combo at the boy, sending him crashing into a wall, knocking the breath out of him.


AK: Nice combo. Reminds me of the time my fourth uncle from my ...


All: Ssshh!


The evil Puddington gave a satisfied laughter and turn her attention to The Magpie. She found pebbles instead.


Suddenly a shadow came from above and the Professor was too slow as she found herself trapped in a sphere filled with overwhelming noises. Scratches on blackboards, forks on plates, high pitch yodelling. The Works.


The Magpie settled his injured apprentice in a dark alley nearby. He discarded the acid bolt Leonard had fired and drew his wand.


As The Magpie returned for his foe, the boy’s chest was criss-crossed with a complicated layer of phemes, speeding his recovery.


When the hero approached the unconscious Pirate Professor, he had to dodge clattering dentures fitted with razor-sharp teeth. A thin man-shaped thing also appeared and began slashing and stabbing at the hero with sticks of various sizes and sharpness.


A young girl, dressed in the most outrageous outfit seen in Elumia, pointed a mad looking hat The Magpie. “Uh Ah B-man! You don’t get to touch the boss lady until after the wedding. Right wood man?”


JN: Heh! B-man. Wood man. Heh!


LC: I gonna be hearing that for at least a week now am I?


The wood man, basically a slim golem made of wood, or Styx the Syx, nodded once and lunged at the enemy he sees before him.


Styx was a magical experiment gone wrong. An unfortunate construct created by an inexperienced mage and one with a nasty personality. Originally made to give dirty ragamuffin’s a splinter now and then, Styx accidentally stabbed his creator and discovered he liked it.


It was through pure luck that Professor Puddington and her apprentice, Maddy Madness the Hat connoisseur manage to make an ally out of the killing construct.


The Magpie was blocked at every attempt to break the stick man but the stick man was also finding it hard to skewer the bird in front of him. In addition to this, Maddy kept shooting knives, nets and even fireballs out of her hat to make the bird man dance.


“Enough with this,” said The Magpie as he duck and broke Styx with his punch. The hero then traced two different borders separately with his hands and casts two different spells at his adversaries.


MdM: Now that's a master!


A torrent of fire rained from the circle above the wood man while a swarm of illuminated birds flew at the hat-loving Maddy and took her hat away from her.


“No!” cried the young lady as she ran after her hat, towards the city guard barracks.


The Magpie took a breath before using a combination of Incantation, Revision and Negation to create a sort of cage to contain Styx. The construct was fire-proof up to a degree but still flammable. The cage would periodically rain fire to prevent the construct from reconstituting itself.


The Magpie then reached for the still unconscious Professor Puddington. His hand phased through the woman.


In a split second The Magpie drew his enchanted cloak to shield himself from the sudden triple combo of Fire, Ice and Lightning. It was too much however as The Magpie was flung bodily towards a hard and unforgiving column.


The column came alive suddenly and consumed the hero. It left his head out to breath but grew spikes in itself to try and pierce the hero’s suit.


The professor went over to the disoriented hero and kissed him before slapping his face. “And here I was thinking that you didn’t like me” quipped The Magpie.


Walking towards the forum, Puddington began chanting something. Through his cowl, The Magpie heard the words quite clearly.

“From the icy depths beyond,

Through the seven locks of mighty Soar,

I summon the Lord Gunter.”

After a moment of recollection, The Magpie started and struggled to escape the accursed column. “You fool! Stop!”


At this moment the Professor let out a disturbing grin and unleashed a mad laughter. “Yes! I will destroy Mineta and Flamenzia and Alfi and Monteon and Villefour and all of Elumia and then all of Cyve! Bwahaha!”


And then “But maybe not Balesfield. I like Balesfield.”


AT: Thank Octavius for that!


Leonard, the other apprentice, woke up with pain all over his body. Groaned slightly and activated his hidden crossbow hidden in his left glove. He selected a particularly painful shock bolt and loaded it into his weapon, all the while wincing at the pain.


He aimed the weapon at The Magpie, then changed to The Pirate Professor.


He quipped “Laugh at this” and fired.


End Part 1. Come back next month for Part 2. Disastrous Debate in the Forum!


PM: That's it?! I shook down too many wimps to get a ticket into this!


SdS: Well at least the effects were decent. Come on move, I have an essay to write.


PH: Hmm... The writing still needs more flare, more exciting verbs. Perhaps the producer may be interested in critiques from audience members. Hmm...


ZG: I paid for a great actiony play and I got it. Well worth that one whole week of carting team equipment. Don't you think so M?


MN: Sure but it have been better if they starred a more competent actor for The Apprentice. Maybe then he would be more useful.


CR: Humph! What a dumb play. Using that sort of magic, even in a play should be illegal!


ES: I thought the man playing The Magpie was kind of cute.

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Showrunner maybe! But head-writer, sadly nope!


And I just found a way to feature you HT! <Evil crackle>


Oh and Adrian?


Wait! How do you do spoilers for this new forum style?! I can't scare Adrian without using it. :(

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