Act 1 Suggestions

[CremePudding]

I am moving all my unanswered act 1 suggestion hereto avoid cluttering up the General thread

Feel free to post here too if they are for Act 1.

 

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Restoring the Keep

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Act 1, G2 and G3

 

Maybe give G3 a Mechanic option? They are probably better at solving puzzles and G2 looks like a superior option given that you can move on for 2 point of damage while G3 looks like a trap option that have you retry while wasting Boons.

 

Or a riddle for G3 so they don't look nearly identical side-by-side.

 

 

Act 1, CG1, CG2 and CG3

 

You might want to just straight up railroad the player into CG2 if going into CG3 just tell you to go back to CG1 -> CG2 -> CG3, or add an option in CG1 to temporary drop the box for the time being.

 

Act 1, Abandoned Beerhall

 

Should be Abandoned Tavern as it is referred to by the other paragraphs.

 

Act 1, Beer Cellar

 

Scrounging or Skullduggery should give a little bonus here. I recommend Scrounging, given that it is for finding loots and a secret inn room is mundane enough for that. Closet loots ahoy!

 

Act 1, Guardian 2

 

Maybe Kroach-kin and Leadership should grant a slightly easier roll seeing that their storie are likely to be a touch more exotic or inspiring? Maybe Dark-breaker too, but I am not far enough in the book to see how useful that is.

 

Act 1, Guardian 4

 

It might be nice to move the refuse-to-pick-a-number option below the If you roll ____, go to ____, because it is too easy to mistake it for dialog. Personally speaking, it might be a good idea to make a G4.c so people who refuse won't notice that it leads to the same page as rolling 2-4 (G4.b). Not a big problem in the book, but it helps make the book less meta-gamey in the iOS version.

[CremePudding]

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Throne Room Restored

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Act 1, Consort's Apartments

 

Tiny undergarments are not useless! I bet you can try to strangle somebody provided that you have good Skullduggery or look for sparkling things with Scrounging or sell them to shady people with Skullduggery.

 

The statuette might be lootable, I suppose?

 

Act 1, Outside

 

Looking for the Key ought to have a little consequence - you did take a considerably longer amount of time than just charging out with the other skills and presumably one or two dwarfs had died in the meantime. The more time you take, the more likely somebody or two got hurt or killed. Healing might let you play nurse on them a little.

 

Act 1, Outside 12

 

Leadership! Leadership! Leadership! A little bonus please

[Legate of Mineta]

CP;

 

Fantastic, keep it coming! Also, the last bit of your message was cut off- assuming you meant to have something more than 'the' there.

[CremePudding]

^Yup, edited.

 

Act 1, Orcs' Warning

 

Koarch-kin ought to be able to talk to Lashaya for a bit more before getting to Murder or even get them to leave instead of a flat bonus - some dwarf might respect the orcs, while some dwarf might just be expert orcslayer. Or Leadership for talking.

 

 

 

Miscellaneous

 

It might clutter up the book so I am not sure is this a good idea, but I personally like having the items and bonus explained in the same paragraph as you receive them.

[Legate of Mineta]

CP;

 

I'm pretty sure we won't be able to have the bonuses in book, due to size constraints, but the idea is a good one. Hopefully...

[Schwarzbart]

Act 1 Enchantments of the Hearth mentions you put on a Amulet but dont give a name for it so you can look for it in the items list.

Act 1 F3 Why make the -2 Ini a special effect when Skill 17 would do the same? Unless there is a way planed to ignore the hostile enviroment I would remove special (1) in favor of a higher Skill.

Act 1 Outer Vault Defender Why give the player +2 Skill in special if you can simply weaken the Specter skill by 2 for absolut the same effect?

Act 1 Outside 9 What healing Potion do we get there? There 2 different Healing Potions mentioned in the items table!

[Legate of Mineta]

Schwarzbart;

 

Thanks, I'll pass these on- for the first one, from memory, I think they didn't give you the Amulet because you don't keep it long- but I'll double check with them.

 

Thanks!

[Schwarzbart]

It should then be mentioned that you put the amulet of or that it fanish.

Act 1 Outside 12 I think the Special should only happen on the first Gambit not on every Gambit as the armor only gives so much defense that can reduced.

Act 1 After Lashaya acording to the text you get a leather cloak beside the helm but the name of this cloak is missing.

[Legate of Mineta]

Schwarzbart;

 

I don't think the leather cloak is intended to give any effects, but I'll check.

 

Thanks for these!

[Schwarzbart]

If the cloak have no game effect please remove its mention that the player take it from After Lashaya as it just brings up confusion!

[Legate of Mineta]

Agreed.

[Riidi WW]

edit: nm i just missed it

[Legate of Mineta]

Hmmm, alright.

[butterbiscuit88]

More of a plot-thing:

 

When in Act 1, if you join Skali's party and choose to use Leadership to deal with the priest-judge's party (4.11, then going to 4.14) everything after 4.14 acts as if you chose to fight anyway. So some descriptions (battered fellow dwarves who join with you, Skali not eager to forgive you for leaving him behind) seem a bit off.

 

I know it would add a bit more to the final book's length, but I don't think it needs much more than a sentence here or there to tweak it. (I am presuming that Skali and his followers will still choose to fight, even if our dwarf scampers away.)

[Legate of Mineta]

Butter;

 

Thanks! I'll get that to the Team- hopefully they'll be able to change that up.

[Shijuro]

Help! I'm trapped in the abandoned beerhall-tavern basement!

111: I tested my luck and failed (now out of boons), and it keeps sending me back to 118 if I've been here before (no second chances?). I've done 2 of the three tasks for 118, but seem to be unable to finish now, and I don't see any overall escape clause that might let me go elsewhere to earn boons then return to retry 111. There should be a brute force way to pass 111 (albeit at a cost -- lose a few defense in the process).

In fact, there could be a general table for such a thing, anytime the player might be stuck at a required plot point, send them to table XXX. The table would say you throw your shoulder at it (roll d10: some results give you a pass, others cost a bit of defense and you have to try again). As it is now, however, I seem to be stuck.

 

 

Nitpicking:

237: the Street Tough

She yawns, and starts drifting toward you. “I have a message you can give them, all the same.” It’s meant to be intimidating, but she’s just trying too hard.

Her speech doesn't make any sense, should it be "I got something for you"? That could be intimidating, if said correctly. She also comes across as bored rather than "trying too hard", should that be "...but her heart just isn't in it."

 

 

I love the combat system! It seemed kind of complicated when i read through it, but in practice you get the hang of it by your second round of combat. Most choose-your-own-adventure books (if they feature combat at all) are simply rolling dice and hoping probability doesn't spank you, but in this system you have meaningful choices every round.

 

 

 

[Legate of Mineta]

Shijuro;

 

Great suggestions! When we work on Book 2 we will undoubtedly look at a revised edition, and we'll see what we can work in.

[Shijuro]

But how do i get out of the 111/118 loop? Do I just pretend I solved it or is there a general way of dealing with getting stuck in the story?

[Legate of Mineta]

Shijuro;

 

I am not sure- I will need to ask the Team. My suggestion though is if you have no Boon dice to pass this, take -3 Defense (equal to the Test), and move on to 102. It's certainly an oversight which was missed in beta.