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The Spatula of Misfortune


Mr. Riddler

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So, as my topic description hints so vaguely at, this is my first adventure. Go easy on me, offer up some criticism, give me some pointers.. Just thought I'd throw this out here, seeing as I've lurked around the forums for months now. Tell me what you all think, eh?

 

 

 

You needed that spatula. Need wasn’t a strong word, not if all this smoke was anything to go by.

 

The whole situation was ridiculous. Just a few minutes ago you’d been on top of the world. Your luck had been holding out all day. First you’d managed to tackle that man-eating rabbit, then you’d caught Professor Viada when he’d fallen down the stairs, and only some few minutes ago you’d wandered into an unattended kitchen stocked to the gills with food.

 

And, lo and behold, there had been a single perfect egg sitting next to a frying pan. How could you have resisted? They barely fed you anything, after all. Was it really so surprising that you’d just strolled over, cracked the egg, and set it on the stove without a single thought as to how you might flip it?

 

And now here you were, standing in front of a spatula-jammed drawer, cursing that abominable culinary instrument as you watched your egg begin to burn. If you didn’t flip it soon..

 

Exit 1: Pure Luck. Just go with it. You’ve been on a roll today, right?

 

Success:

 

Completely unfazed by the unfortunate turn of events, you take hold of the skillet’s handle and flick it forward and upward.

 

Beautiful, delicious eggs took flight, arching gracefully through the air. Lifting the skillet up, knowing within your soul that this is your day, you move to catch it. The sweet taste of victory (and not a small of drool) floods your mouth as you, by some divine blessing, intercept the protein-rich delight and guide it back into the skillet’s sizzling embrace.

 

Oh, yeah. Today was your day, alright.

 

Rewards:

+1 Cooking

-1 Stress

+2 Pure Luck

+Emotion: Golden

 

Failure:

 

Push. Pull. Push. Pull.

 

Maybe you might be imagining things, but the drawer seems to be loosening a bit. Or maybe you’re hallucinating. Hunger does that to people.

 

You descend into a kind of trance, pushing and pulling the drawer blankly. Perhaps it was the constant shaking, or maybe the spatula just needed a bit of persuasion, but you could feel it start to give. Shaking with renewed vigor, the drawer gradually began to open.

 

That’s when it caught on the whisk. Feeling your unbeatable streak wasn’t so unbeatable anymore, you heave a sigh a give up the fight.

 

Rewards:

 

+1 Pure Luck

+2 Stress

 

 

Exit 2: Brute Strength. Just rip the blasted thing out of the wall.

 

Win

 

No sense being fussy about it. You’ll be doing everyone else a favor anyway, right?

 

You push the drawer in as far as it will go and take a firm stance, wrapping both of your hands about its handle as best as you can. Throwing yourself backward, you feel the drawer glide along its tracks toward you.

 

It catches on the spatula again. Not for long, though. You hear a horrible shriek of grinding, snapping metal and the drawer slides outward.

 

The spatula was broken, of course, and irrevocably bent. Still, it was usable enough and, with a little deft maneuvering on your part, you manage to flip the egg. Serving your lunch up on a fine porcelain plate, you toss the metal remnants of the spatula into the trash bin, confident that no one would be the wiser.

 

Of course, the bits of spatula still wedged in the drawer might be a give away..

 

Reward:

+1 Confidence

+1 Brute Strength

-1 Stress

 

Fail:

 

No sense being fussy about it. You’ll be doing everyone else a favor anyway.

 

You push the drawer in as far as it will go and take a firm stance, wrapping both of your hands about its handle as best as you can. Throwing yourself backward, you feel the drawer glide along its tracks toward you.

 

It catches on the spatula again. Not for long, though. You hear a horrible shriek of grinding, snapping metal and the drawer slides outward.

 

All the way outward. Whisks, spatulas, knives.. You only have a second to contemplate your bad luck before the implements crash to the floor and, in the case of one extremely sharp paring knife, your foot.

 

Hobbling toward the smoking pan, trying your best not to step on your bleeding toe, you fail to reach the eggs in time

 

Scraping the scorched remnants of the egg into the trash, you leave the kitchen hungry and dejected.

 

Rewards:

 

+1 Stress

-1 Vitality

-1 Pure Luck

 

Exit 3: Forging. Necessity is the mother of invention!

 

Success:

 

You close the drawer with a shake of your head. This wasn’t going to work. But if you could just find something else flat..

 

Your eye lands on a nearby stone rolling pin and, as if a veil had been taken from your eyes, the solution becomes apparent. Sure, it might seem crazy to some. But hadn’t most great inventors been called insane by their peers?

 

Now all you needed was.. Yes! There it was, twinkling merrily at you beside a great earthenware bowl. You take the silver spoon and, grinning slightly at your own cleverness, heft the rolling pin above your head.

 

One, two, three times you bring it down on the poor thing. It starts to yield to your superior skill and, dealing it a final vicious blow for good measure, reluctantly flattens its last remaining edge.

 

Voila. Makeshift spatula.

 

Wait until Cordelia Troublepot hears about this one, eh?

 

Rewards:

 

+1 Relation with Cordelia Troublepot (You braggart, you!)

+2 Forging

+1 Confidence

 

Fail:

 

You close the drawer with a shake of your head. This wasn’t going to work. But if you could just find something else flat..

 

Your eye lands on a nearby stone rolling pin and, for just a second, you think it might work. But then the rational part of your mind busts in, strangling your creative spirit with warnings of “Detention for wanton destruction of silverware” and “Breaking your thumb if you miss with just one whack.”

 

But, after several more minutes of fruitless searching and egg-burning, your rational side finally caves. Retrieving an antique silver spoon and the rolling pin, you lift the pin and bring it down with a sense of grim purpose.

 

Hefting the pin, you hit it a second time. And then a third. On the sixth whack you begin to doubt your skill at blacksmithing, and on the seventh you finally realize that it was all going nowhere. Throwing aside the malformed spoon, you sit by and watch your egg wither and burn within its protein-rich inferno.

 

Rewards:

 

+2 Stress

+1 Forging

-1 Confidence

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Heh. Glad you like it! I was worried that it wouldn't be too good. I've a couple more ideas floating around in my head, so you'll probably hear from me again soon..

 

On that note, are there any random events people would like to see? Maybe specific ones between you and your familiar, a favorite student, or possibly a professor? I've tons of free time, so drop me a PM if you're interested!

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